Resistance

"WHY did you do that???" Ana exclaimed as I rinsed of my little plate.
"Because I'm starving and it was only 70 calories." I replied a little defensively. "A person burns more than that just to keep them alive in just a few hours. I'll be fine. It's just an egg."
"Well, you can't have anything until dinner tonight then. I won't allow it." She said peevishly, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow.
"I was already planning that. And a good workout this afternoon too." I said to placate her.It worked. She brightened.
"Okay, you seem pretty good about it. I've had girls cry after I tell them stuff like that." She rolled her eyes. "You're much stronger."
I glowed with pleasure. I thrived in Ana's praise. A little happy balloon of accomplishment swelled inside me and I grinned proudly as I slung my backpack over my shoulders.
"But no school orange juice today. It's 60 calories and 70+60=130 and you can't have 100 calories or more until dinner...ANYTIME."
The little happy balloon popped and my proud grin disappeared and was replaced with a frowning sulk. I felt like a scolded child.
Ana knew. She put her hand on my shoulder."It's just fluorescent orange concentrated carbs. Nothing more. You can get the same effect with Splenda Water." (She had showed me the fantastic invention that is splenda water. Five packets in a tall glass of water with a little squeeze of lemon. No calories, and very much like watered-down lemonade.)
I brightened. She was right. "I'll never drink that orange juice again." I vowed.
She grinned at me and thumped me on the back. "That's my girl."

*Later*

"Ew, look at her." Ana said with ill-disguised disgust as a chubby girl walked by. "It makes me want to gag when I see a girl ruining her looks with all that fat. She will grow and grow until she is over 300 pounds and unhappy."
She smiled at me and continued  her speech. "But you'll be with me forever, and we'll be thin and happy together." She hugged me.
I hugged her back. "Always." I said sincerely.
"Now let's go home. You can have your SMALL dinner now."
"mkay."
 As we walked home she jabbered on and on about exercises and foods that were okay and not okay and the calorie, fat, and sodium content of various foods. She pointed out every fat person that we saw and laughed at the way they jiggled and their lack of self control. She thought herself superior to them, and I couldn't blame her. It took REAL strength to do what we were doing. We didn't give in to food. 

*Later than that*

"Hi honey." My mother said as I walked in the door. "How was your day?" I told her about my day, describing in detail the gross lunch I didn't eat.
"Well, tonight we're having fried chicken." She said as she gasped along with me at the horrors of the school food. 
"Um...... I'm trying to eat healthier. Can I have a salad instead?" I said as politely as I could.
"Sure." She replied. "Have some tuna with it." She looked at the clock."I have to go pick up your sisters from ballet."  She gave me a quick squeeze. "I'll be right back." She hurried out the door.
I busied myself with making my salad and resisting the delicious smell of fried chicken. When I opened up the pantry to get the tuna, there was already somebody in there.
I gasped as an enourmously fat girl squeezed herself out of the pantry and gave me a horrible  grin. "It's awfully cramped in there. I'm surprised you resisted me so long." She handed me something: a jar of peanut butter and a big spoon. As I stared at the hideous, bulky girl standing in front of me, I managed to gasp out a question.
"Wh-wh-who are you!?"
She smiled horrible and said in a sweet, sugary, oily voice "My name is B. B for Binge. And I need a Binge Buddy." She unscrewed the peanut butter jar's lid and pushed the jar up towards my face so that I could smell  its heavenly contents.
Ana was there in seconds of course. "Don't Lauren, it's not worth the pain you feel later. Think of those skinny girls teasing you!"
I froze with the loaded spoon halfway to my mouth. I thought about it. I thought about all the reasons I wanted to lose weight. I thought of my promise to Ana that I would ALWAYS listen to her.
I put the spoon down, but the peanut butter jar away, and grabbed my tuna. B shrieked at me as I opened the can, spread the fish over my salad, and got the heck out of there.
"Good girl. I hate B. She's aways messing up my girls." She hugged me. "But you did extremely well for a first time meeting her. Somewhere along the line you will give in, but that's to be expected." She smoothed down the front of her t-shirt. I squirmed at the sound of B's wailing:
"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME FOREVER!!!! I'M A PART OF YOU JUST LIKE ANA IS!!!!! I'M ALWAYS HERE!!! ALWAYS!!!"
Ana made a face. "SHUT UP!!!" She screamed at B.
 B shut up.
I took my first mouthful of salad. I hadn't had anything except that egg all day, and that was long gone. My stomach was snarling like a panther caught in a trap and that first bite of salad felt like heaven to it. It felt so good that I wanted to bolt down my food, but I took small bites; savored it. It would be my only food until tomorrow night.
"And for a good reason." Said Ana. "Look at you fat belly and chubby arms! Yuck"
I looked at the areas she indicated. Damn. She was right.
I ended up bolting my salad and running for my room so I could workout.
As Ana watched.