Food Diary

I have made a foolproof way to keep my calorie consumption down:

I made a food diary!!! i have a set amount of calories i have to remain under the limit of every day and i do it!!!! it's very easy for me to meet goals, or in this case stay under the goal. this is an example of a day's diary:

Food	Calories
Coffee	0
Water	0
Miso Soup	30
White Rice	104
Wakame	20
Plums	50
Diet Coke	0
Avocado	50
Omelet	140
Bite of ice cream	20
Subtotal	414
Workout	0
Total	414

So that's a thing. I also discovered the best creation of all:

Broth.

Just make it in a mug with twice the normal amount of bouillon, or just a little more if you don't like salty shtuff, and heat it up!!! i also add chili powder because i like a little spice and it speeds up your metabolism. ^.^ I weighed myself and my weight went from 125.6 to 121.8. I weighed myself at the end of the day, so it's probably even lower than that!!!

But i didn't lose it in the week. My ana tendencies started coming back 10 days ago. I've just been blogging again for......i dunno. Less than 10 days.

well, i need to do homework. and work out.

bye bye

I am SO on track right now. I feel thinner already.

I'm DOING IT!!!! Yesterday i had some oatmeal, iceberg lettuce for lunch, and a teeny bit of spaghetti for dinner with some low fat, low calorie ice cream for dessert..
Total: 550 Calories all flippin day
That is amazing!!! Maybe the ice cream was a bit unnecessary, but i feel that if i let myself have a little bit of something good a day, the cravings don't snowball and turn me into an eating machine. 120 calories in ice cream is NOT A LOT. Definitely more that i should have, but it's either that or i binge on 500 calories.

Hmmmm.....sounds better, doesn't it?

I'm also finally drinking proper amounts of water. 2 liters per day. Yup.

And i NEED caffeine. My school is a college prep semi-private high school that assigns ungodly amounts of homework per night. I am up until at least 1 am, and then have to get up early (bout 6ish) to finish it before 7:45. (when i leave)
The problem is that my mom doesn't want me to drink caffeine. She will flip out if i grab a coke at school or have a cup of coffee, so i steal diet cokes from the fridge in the garage. I also get the cold nasty leftover coffee from breakfast and put it in a bottle at night for the morning. Every morning i have oatmeal that i heat in the microwave, so she isn't suspicious if she hears it. (she's still in bed) My dad couldn't care less.

So that's a thing.

Bye bye!!!

Why I Do What I Do

I want my spine to show.
I want my hipbones to be so pointy they wouldn't be allowed on an airplane.
I want my ribs to show when i stretch.
I want my collarbones to show
I want a smaller ass (that is well shaped)
I want to wear white pants and look amazing.
I want to have slender collarbones and shoulders.
I want to have a flat belly for a belly button piercing.
I want to have slim arms.
I want to look amazing in dresses.
I want to be 110 pounds or lighter and i WILL NOT STOP until i get there.

Coming back AGAIN

    I know, I know, I did it AGAIN. I just couldn't seem to concentrate on fulfilling Ana's wishes. She only has good intentions, you know. All she wants is to make me thin and lovely, and that's all i want too. Ok, i am SORRY for being gone so long, and i am SORRY for being such a worthless fat MEH. That is what i am. a MEH. it's not an acronym for anything, just a noise to express distaste and dissatisfaction.
    I have such a strange way of looking at Ana. I don't obsess or have panic attacks when confronted with food. I don't think about losing weight constantly, and i certainly don't purge...because i never have to. The way that i think is based on problem solving: What is the problem? Can I solve the problem? Yes? DO IT!!! and that's all there is to it. I know that i want and HAVE to lose weight, so i let Ana into my life. I restrict. I exercise. I drink my weight in water. I use caffeine as a laxative+energy burner. I do whatever it takes. That's all there is to it. I lie and steal and sneak, but i don't feel guilty about it. I'm numb by now. My behavior doesn't surprise me anymore.
   I'll have a few tips up by tonight. Feel free to use them and add to the list!!! :D

Bye!!!

(p.s I need a catch phrase. Something to write at the end of every post. hmmmm.....)